Winter Auction

My cousin texted me today to let me know she can't come visit this weekend. Her dog just had ACL repair yesterday, and her mom can't be home this weekend, so she needs to go home and stay with him. On the one hand, I won't have to worry about eating a bunch of junk this weekend, but now I have no excuse not to go to auction tomorrow night.

Auction is an annual thing held at the vet school to help send us to the national educational symposium, which is in Wisconsin this year. It is cocktail attire, and since I am feeling too fat to get dressed up and pretend to be happy, I was going to use my cousin as an excuse to say she would not get in early enough tomorrow evening to go. But now, I am able to go, and the rest of my friends are going, so I have no reason to say no. But I just feel so fat. I am going to wear the same thing that I did last year. It is a little black dress, with wide straps and it comes in at the waist, with a little black flower to accentuate the waist. I am going to wear a little cardigan with it, so it doesn't look exactly the same. It is a cute dress, but I wanted to wear a different one much more. I am much too fat to wear that one though. I can fit into it, but it is much too tight for my liking.

Tomorrow is going to suck. I hate pretending to be happy and friendly, when I really feel fat, sad, and antisocial. I would much rather prefer spending my evening curled up in bed watching a movie. I will just try to eat as little as possible tomorrow so my stomach will look at flat as possible. And I will work on staying out of as many pictures as I can. And I am absolutely not going to any afterparties, either. I am going home, getting the hell out of my dress, and going to sleep.

I guess to look on the bright side, the dress I am wearing is a size 0. Would the 2 fit a little better right now? Yes. Do I own any size 2 dresses? No. Haha I refuse to buy clothes larger than a size 0 or a small. If that means not buying clothes for a few months, then so be it. I would say right now I am a size 2, but in at the most two months, I will be back to my size 0.

Winter break begins for me on the 17th of December, and before that I have finals, so I will be hard core restricting during finals. Then during winter break which is five weeks(!) long, I am going to go skiing every single day I can. Basically, Christmas Eve day, Christmas, New Year's Day, and the day of my dentist appointment will be non-skiing days. My home is 15 minutes away from a major ski resort, so I have grown up skiing, and I get a season pass every year so I can ski all I want over break. Skiing burns a crap-load of calories. For an hour, it burns 369 calories. I know I am not skiing constantly for an hour, because you have to go up the lifts and such, but I am in the lift line at 9 when the lifts open, I take an hour for lunch and warming up, and then I ski until 4-4:30 pm (the lifts close at 4, and I try to get the last run right before 4). So six hours outside, and I would say at least 4 and a half spent actively skiing. So that would be 1660.5 calories burned for the day. And it gets fecking COLD sometimes; we are talking a wind chill of -30 degrees at the peak, so I bet on those days I burn even more trying to stay warm. I am going to get buff and lose a crap load of weight at the same time. It gives me the perfect excuse for when I come back to school too, as to why I have lost weight. I will say "Oh, I didn't really lose any weight, I just always lose fat and gain muscle when I ski for extended periods of time, so I am the same weight, I just look smaller." It is so perfect! I am planning on being back to 110 by the time I come back from winter break on Jan 25.

And I LOVE skiing. I almost raced competitively in college, but I had to choose whether I wanted to major in Animal Sciences/Pre-Vet, or ski and choose an easier major. I chose career over sports, obviously.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing wonderfully!

Love you, Skinnies!

~Sottile