Black Swan

So Happy December! I'm a little late on that, I know.

Let's see. I didn't lose a pound like I wanted to over Thanksgiving. I ended up gaining one pound, which isn't so bad, I guess..... But still, not where I wanted to be at all. Then when I got back to my apartment last Sunday night, I put so much pressure on myself to lose "as much weight as possible" from then until this past Friday, because we had our fundraiser auction Friday night, that I just ate M&Ms and didn't lose any weight at all. Like I said, I think I just put too much pressure on myself that I just combusted. I wanted some sort of miracle to happen, and I just think I needed to be real with myself that I was not going to lose ten pounds in five days by any stretch of the imagination. I still managed to look decent in my dress, but I felt like a failure for not managing to lose even the three to four pounds that I know I could have lost.

But I need to put that behind me now, because I can take the pressure off and just eat as I have been doing, which is about 800 calories a day. It's a good balance for me: 500 calories below my BMR, but still enough that I don't become too tired and weak to do anything. And while I don't usually pull huge weight loss numbers every day eating that high of a calorie count, I find that I lose about three pounds a week consistently, which is fine by me!

I was reading about this new movie that has come out this week. It's called "Black Swan" and it's with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. It's supposed to be a psychological thriller/horror movie, set in the world of ballet. They are both professional ballet dancers, and Natalie Portman is the prima ballerina and perfect, whereas Mila Kunis is newer but dances more from the heart. And then I think it starts to get scary, and I think that Mila Kunis becomes obsessed with Natalie Portman or something, but anyway it looks really good. The thing that got me started reading about it is that both girls lost 20 pounds for the movie, to really look the part of a ballet dancer. I don't know what Natalie Portman's final weight was, but Mila Kunis said in an interview that she got down to 95 pounds. They had nutritionists who made diets for them, and Natalie said she was eating about 1200 calories a day, broken up into little meals throughout the day. She said she was basically eating all the time, but it was just small portions. Google it if you want to read the interviews; I found it pretty interesting! I am hoping that it will eventually come to the little indie movie theater in the city I live in.


That's pretty much it. I want to cut my hair so badly, but I want the layers to grow out a little more, and I would like to lose a little weight so the cut will be more flattering.

Love you, Skinnies!

~Sottile