Pimped-Out Cadillacs and Swine Flu

I am back from Omaha. I got back on Sunday afternoon. The conference was great, and I learned a lot. I even now have an externship lined up for this summer! I wish I got to see more of Omaha, but we were so busy with lectures all day at the convention center, and then we would go out to a bar at night. So basically all I saw was the convention center and a small part of downtown Omaha. It was so funny though, because Saturday night, we saw three pimped-out 1970s-era Cadillacs with huge tires and rims. I didn't think they did that in Omaha! Next year, the conference is in Albequerque, so we are going to go down a few days before the conference starts so we can see Albequerque.

I weighed in at 126lbs. on Monday morning. Not where I wanted to be, but I did lost two pounds, so I guess I can't be horribly mad with myself. I just wanted to get down to 120 by this past Sunday, and yet again I did not reach my goal. Why is this so much harder than it was only two years ago? And I feel like I look bigger now than I did when I was 128. But I will keep trying. Tomorrow will be no dinner. Both roomies have a dinner meeting at school, which I am not going to, so I will not let any food touch my lips. However, we have a lunch meeting tomorrow about Open House for the vet school, which all second years must attend. It will be hard to get away with not eating, because we have class right after the lunch meeting, so its not like I can lie and say I am going to get something later. Grr. Hopefully it is Thai food, because everyone knows I hate Thai, so that will give me the perfect excuse to avoid it. Or I could pull a stomach ache or something. I don't know. I will try to figure something out.

There was a bake sale at school today, and everything looked so beautiful; people really put a lot of effort into this bake sale. But that's just it; they only looked beautiful to me, not good to eat. I was so happy. I admired the baked goods, and watched everyone else stuff pounds of fat and sugar down their throats, but I actively did not want any at all. I usually want something from the bake sales, but I never buy anything because I know it will mess up everything. I was so excited to have no want to eat anything this time!

Speaking of that, does anyone besides me like buying junk food, but then not eating it? I have all these things in the cupboard, like Chex Mix, Cheetos, Teddy Grahams, Little Debbie, etc., but then I just leave them sitting there and eat oatmeal and grapes instead. I am sure my roommates think I am so weird for this, since I keep buying it at the grocery store. I really can't figure out why I do this. Is it some weird control thing? Like knowing I have it but not eating it? I honestly don't even think about it once it's in the house though. I almost think it's something like, if I don't allow myself these junk foods, then I want to prevent someone else from buying this one box too. Is that weird? I think it probably is. I just like looking at it in the cart, knowing that this is not going to be eaten by anyone.

Well, I am going to go to bed, and try to keep my immune system up and running. An undergrad on campus died last week of complications from swine flu, and "flu-like symptoms" are running rampant through the vet school. We have a final next week, and I do not want to be sick this week or next. I need to study my ass off for the next six days, and getting sick would really throw a wrench in that plan. Also, I posted a pic of myself on the sidebar of me back in my glory days of 110lbs. You can't really see the rest of me, but I was wearing a poofy skirt, so it wouldn't have mattered. I figured it would give me some thinspiration to get back there in as short time as possible. 20 pounds in a month? I think it's a new goal. :)

Love you, Skinnies!

~Sottile