Weighty Conversations

Wow, 20 followers! I just saw that this morning. Amazing! 20 people are interested enough to read my blog. Pretty cool.

Anyway, I'm about to start studying for the day. I studied all day yesterday as well. Ugh. So all day today, all day tomorrow, and then the exam is on Tuesday and Wednesday. I can't wait until it's over! Then we have fall break Thursday and Friday, and I will have the whole apartment to myself! Both roomies are going away! I haven't decided if I want to fast, or just keep things super low cal for the four day weekend. We'll see. I'll probably judge by the scale what I want to do.

So yesterday, both roomies, T and K, and my friend, J, were all talking about eating/puberty/exercising/gaining weight. I always feel weird and self-conscious in conversations like those. It's like the conversations where someone brings up some celebrity's weight, and is like, they are getting so skinny, it's disgusting! Because I am always of the opinion that everyone looks good skinnier. It's just an awkward conversation. So anyway, the three of them were talking about when they got their period, and how they all used to be skinny(er) before they got it, and then puberty hit and they gained weight and they couldn't eat what they wanted to anymore, etc. I just kind of sat and listened; I didn't really have anything to contribute. I think the whole thing got started because they were talking about boob size related to going on birth control and how it makes your boobs grow. I didn't have anything to contribute to that either, because I am so flat chested it's not funny. Not that I care. I wouldn't want big boobs. So I just listened.

And then they started talking about playing sports and gaining muscle, and when they got to college, they lost muscle and gained weight. K was saying she was happy to lose the muscle on her thighs though, because they were so muscular that they would actually bulge out instead of just going straight down when she was standing sideways. I said "Really??" Then J said to me "It's ok. I know you don't really know what we're talking about, since I don't think you've ever been over 115 pounds in your life." She said it jokingly; she has a really good sense of humor, but I was a little embarrassed, as I always am when people talk about my body and my weight, and also a little surprised that she thinks I weigh 115lbs. Because I most definitely do not. I am 11lbs. over that. But I just laughed too. If only they knew how much I think about this crap all day.

Also found out that K used to be 150-155 last year, and that she has lost around 5lbs. this summer by riding her bike and running. Wow, I can't imagine being 150lbs. Even though she is 5'9". And I want to apologize to everyone here who weighs that. I really don't mean it in a bitchy way. I just can't imagine 150lbs. on myself. It's really hard for me. And I am not saying it's fat, because I never saw K as being fat at all last year or this year. I just could never imagine myself being that weight. Just so we're clear. :) Now I just need to find out how much T weighs and I'll be complete. Also found out that J weighs 160lbs. That I was surprised about, because she doesn't look like it. She eats SO MUCH though. Like she cleaned out a good quarter of the cookies I had left over from when I baked. That was like, 6 in one sitting. Yikes! Again, I don't know how people do it. I could never eat that much. I don't remember the last time I finished a normal sized meal. I just can't. And I really don't remember the last time I had a proper breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one day. Like I said, I just don't think I can do it.

So I am just going to have a little bitch fit, so ignore me if you want to. I know how stupid this is going to sound. But I can't bitch about it to anyone else. I tried on a pair of my size 0 jeans from American Eagle yesterday, and they still fit but are very tight around the thigh. And I can still get into my size 00 from Abercrombie, but I think that is only because they are stretch. I have this other pair of size 00 jeans from Abercrombie, which I can't get over my thighs, and they have no stretch. Grr... I have three size 2 pairs of pants, and some cordoroys that say size 0, but have always been huge, so I don't know how much I believe the sizing on those. And then I have my trusty jeans that I've had for four years now, which I got when J.Crew was still doing 0-2-4-6 sizing on their jeans. They now do waist size sizing 25-26-27, etc. So anyway, these jeans are size 0, and they fit well. Although they used to hang off me so beautifully. So I have some pants I can wear. And I refuse to buy any larger sizes. It just sucks so much that so many of my jeans I can't wear right now! God, how did I let myself gain all this weight?? Gross.

Becca, here is the link for watching Supersize Vs. Superskinny. It's from YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=LooieFTW&view=videos

Alright, going to eat some breakfast and then get down to studying. I am thinking an apple-cinnamon English muffin with jam. So yummy!

Love you, Skinnies!

~Sottile