New Shoes and All That

My internet is being so slow and annoying this morning! It keeps timing-out, and not loading things, and it's only letting me comment on some of your blogs, sometimes. Sorry! I am just hoping that it will post this after I finish writing. Grrr I hate internet problems. And I hate our internet provider. They are the only ones around, so they never have the incentive to make their service better since they have no competition. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, so yesterday I woke up still 122.5lbs. Now, I know I was so excited to reach that number only the day before, but once I see a number, I get sick of it, if you haven't figured that out by now. I was done with 122.5, and I wanted something lower. So, I was a little disappointed, but it's better than gaining. Anything is always better than gaining. I had my usual yogurt with granola, coffee, and orange juice for breakfast. Then, K, my skinny friend W, and myself decided to go to T.J. Maxx instead of going to our next class :) So we spent a lot of time in there, and I bought a new pair of sunglasses, a scarf/wrap/shawl thing that will be perfect for the airplane, which always manages to be cold, and an awesome pair of peep-toe ankle boots! WIN! I almost bought an entirely impractical pair of platform pumps that were a cotton material with orange and pink flower blooms on them, but they were just that impractical that I couldn't justify it, especially with London shopping just around the corner :)

Also, I don't have a full length mirror in my room, so I can only easily see from the upper thighs up in my mirror. When I was trying on those shoes in the full length mirror at T.J. Maxx, I realized how baggy the pair of jeans I was wearing looked on me! It felt so great :) I am a self-professed mirror whore, meaning I love looking in the mirror, any time I can get, so trying on the shoes gave me reason to stand in the three-way mirror and just look at myself for a really long time.

Anyway, K was off trying on some clothes, and W and I were looking at housewares. She said to me "I'm hungry". I then said "I'm getting hungry, too", because I actually was. I hardly ever admit to anyone that I am hungry, but I felt safe telling W I was, because she is my skinny friend who I think is Ana too, but I am not sure. Anyway, she got this smile on her face like a five year old boy looking for trouble, and said "Wanna go get a bagel?" So, I agreed, and K came with us. W ended up getting a big sandwich on a bialy, that had pesto, big slices of mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, and sprouts. I got a bagel with regular cream cheese. K got some sort of sandwich, but I wasn't really paying attention. So W finished all of hers before I finished my bagel, and then said, "I kind of want to get something chocolatey". Now, while we were waiting to order, there is this big display case full of the most sinful looking desserts, and W was literally salivating over them. She had me stand in front of the case so she wouldn't be able to see this one cake that she kept staring at. So anyway, we go back to this display case after we're done eating, and W picked out this chocolate chip brownie surrounded by a chocolate shell, with flowers made of icing on top. I really hope for her sake that she didn't go home and binge on it.

Anyway, it was so not in the plan to eat that bagel, so I felt bad when we got home, and I kept looking sideways at myself in the mirror, looking at my stomach which looked a little more puffy than before. I wasn't going to eat anything else for the rest of the day, but then I got a package in the mail from my friend, who sent me a ton of Easter candy! Ahhh! I ended up eating a lollipop, a mini-Snickers bar, a Dove chocolate mini egg, a few jelly beans, and a package of mini M&Ms. I felt so gross after that. I think I am going to put that candy in a bowl and put it on the table in our living room as a communal candy bowl, so I won't eat it all myself.

So when I weighed myself last night, I was 123.5lbs. I was okay with it, but still angry with myself for eating the candy, when I had planned to not eat anything else all day.

I wake up this morning, use the bathroom, take off my clothes down to my underwear, and get on the scale. And it tells me 121.5lbs.!!!!!!!!!! I got off and on three more times, to make sure it was telling the truth, and it was! I did a little happy dance in the bathroom. I couldn't believe I lost two pounds overnight! ECSTATIC!!!

I am not eating lunch today, and we'll see if I can get away with not eating dinner, either. I still have broccoli I need to eat, though, so I might cook that up.

Love you, Skinnies!

~Sottile