Lunch Lectures

First of all, I want to thank Zen for giving me the Sunshine Award! I am so honored! I will award my five(only! oh man!) awards tomorrow, when I have a little more time to write some thoughtful posts about to whom I am awarding these lovely little awards :) It's such a perfect award for the time of year, too, as I look outside (well not right now, it's late!) and see buds on the trees, and birds are chirping, things are progressively beginning to get more green, and the sun is shining!

In other news, this is the new outfit I just bought this evening: the pants I was talking about, complete with a cute little tank I died over in J.Crew. I think the whole outfit will look very cute together, non?
Anyway, I will not wear my new outfit until I reach 115lbs., so when I write the post entitled "My New Outfit Win!", you will know I have reached it! I am so close, I can feel it. Still 121.5lbs. this morning, but it has to break soon. I was trying on jeans and shorts this evening, and some things that were really tight on me a few months ago are looking really good now, or even now too big, like some of my size 2 shorts from J.Crew. It's an awesome feeling :)

Ugh, but today though! I had a lunch lecture, and I had a half a sub sandwich (or hoagie, or grinder, or whatever you want to call it). It was only 270 cals, according to the catering website, but still. I didn't want to eat it, but I was around all of my friends, so I had to. There were also single serve bags of Doritos, Fritos, and Cheetos, and I had a few Doritos from a friend's bag :/ And Wednesday we have another lunch lecture, and they will be catering burritos! Talk about heavy food! My school holds these lunch and dinner lectures for us a lot, and while I understand their logic (lecture during meal times, so feed the students; also to most vet students, free food = joy), I just wish these things were optional so I didn't have to go! Or that they just wouldn't feed us! I have anxiety over the meals the whole hour before lunch/dinner, so I completely tune out the entire lecture. I think the 11 o'clock lecture that I tuned out this time was something about osteoarthritis in dogs, but besides that, I probably couldn't tell you much more about it. I was too busy freaking out over what sandwich I was going to get, and could I get a small piece, and how long should I make it last, etc. So stressful.

I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day, except for a handful of chocolate covered raisins that were brought over this evening especially for me when a bunch of friends came over to watch House. It is common knowledge among my friends that they are one of my favorite candies, and so my friend J brought them with her. And as always happens, I didn't want to be rude, so I took a handful. Now they are sitting in the kitchen, and I can hear them mocking me. I hope she, or anyone else for that matter, doesn't bring over anything tomorrow night for the premiere of Glee. I hate eating anything after 8pm. I feel like it just sits in my stomach all night. Ew.

Also, Becca asked me what I plan to do once I reach my goal weight. Well, I am trying not to tempt fate here, but I really think that I can make my goal by the end of May. I only have a little over ten pounds to lose to get there, and I know for a fact that I could lose that in two weeks if I restricted hard core, because I've done it before. I don't want to raise too many eyebrows, though, so I am going to lose a bit slower than that, even though the immediate redemption of losing so fast would be awesome. So, yes, by the end of May, I hope to be sitting at 108-110lbs :) And from there, I will just maintain. I will of course keep writing! I could never walk away from all you lovelies after reaching such a goal, and I would never want to! I will keep writing about my everyday trials and tribulations with food and life in general, because you all know there are going to be many! I might even go down a little further, maybe to my all-time low, which was 104lbs. Man, I looked so beautiful and fragile then. I remember being at my aunt's house once, and she was having a dinner party with some women whom I had never met. They came over, and my aunt called my cousin and I downstairs to meet them. My cousin is pretty petite as well, and one of the women looked at us and exclaimed to my aunt "Don't you ever feed them!?" My aunt laughed and replied "About every other day, if they're being good." I was beaming on the inside :) I want that again.

A big hello to my new followers!

Love you, Skinnies!

~Sottile