Well, last night didn't go as well as expected. I honestly didn't think I ate a lot, but apparently my scale thought otherwise. I was up to 129lbs. last night! I was SO angry at myself. So this morning, I was at 127.5lbs., and I was depressed and furious at the same time. It fueled me to ruin any appetite I might have had today, though. Only 550 cals today, which I am happy about. I am in a much better mood now than I was this morning. I would have bitten someone's head off this morning if they looked at me the wrong way. Good thing today was a Sunday, and I didn't have anything to do but study by myself.
I was having an argument with myself as to whether I wanted to eat dinner this evening. My stomach was apathetic, and my head went back and forth between saying I should eat because that is what you do, and the other half saying I shouldn't, because my stomach was hardly hungry (probably gave up on being fed anything substantial for the day!) so why should I put food down there that it wasn't asking for? I ended up randomly having some canned corn, 140 cals worth, with 10 cals worth of salsa and 5 cals worth of jalapeno pepper slices mixed in. The thing I am most excited about? I will know exactly when this food has cleared my gastointestinal tract and made it to the other side, if you know what I mean. Gross, but hey, I am just telling the truth!! :P
I found myself in the grocery store yesterday before going over to my friend's apartment, because she needed strawberries to dip in the chocolate, and I have to drive right past the store on my way. I got the fruit, and somehow made my way over to the bread aisle. Commence epic battle between me and cinnamon raisin bread. I spent a good five minutes holding onto this one loaf of bread, reading the nutritional information, walking a few paces either way down the aisle, deciding I am about to go pay, and then changing my mind and walking back to the display from where I got the loaf of bread. I am insane. But you all understand, and I am sure 4 out of 5 of you do this too, which is why I am not embarrassed in the least. At least, not embarrassed to share it here. While I was at the store, so shameful! Especially when this guy wanted the exact same display that I was standing in front of! He said "Excuse me", and I was knocked out of my bread-haze, and jumped out of the way. He looked at me strangely, took some bread, and then gave me another strange look. Probably because I stared awkwardly at him as he selected his loaf and placed it in his shopping cart. Then he left. Finally, in a moment of panic, I practically threw the loaf of bread back to its brothers and sisters on the display, and took off down the aisle, walking as quickly as is acceptable in a grocery store. Then, EVERYONE seemed to be buying their groceries at that same moment, so I was surrounded by food while waiting the ten minutes in line. It seemed like an hour, standing there, looking at everyone and their normalcy. It was too normal. I wanted to scream. But I just started bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet, trying to stave off this impending anxiety attack in the middle of the grocery store. I finally got to pay for the strawberries, and threw my credit card at the clerk, signed a scribble for my name, got my receipt and card back, and high-tailed it to the safety of my car. I never want to go grocery shopping again.
I am still 127.5lbs. tonight. Can I please see 126.5lbs. tomorrow? Please?
Love you, Skinnies!
~Sottile
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Oh, Sottile, I do the same thing. You describe it all so well. haha ♥
ReplyDeleteI literally do that every time I'm in the grocery store. I find something really yummy on sale, and I just want it sooo bad, but I have to determine whether my husband will eat some, too. because if he likes something, I can have one serving and he;ll devour the rest and then they arent in the house anymore. oreos are that way- i have four to six from the entire pack and adam eats the rest in less than like, an hour!
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day
ReplyDeleteah grocerry shopping can be so much hard work!
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ReplyDeletethis is oh so familiar.
ReplyDeleteevery time i go grocery shopping, it reinforces how far from 'normal' i am. people just grab stuff off the shelf mindlessly,without even glancing at the nutrition information, not even giving it a second thought.
i don't understand. but i wish i could be so carefree.
and you're doing well, by the way! weighing yourself at different times of the day just messes with you! don't forget, 1 liter of water weighs 2.2 pounds.
Haha I do the exact same thing. I stand there or walk around having this mini debate with myself deciding whether to get the damn item or not. The people at the bakery give me such strange looks every time I'm there. I also stand in aisles studying food's nutritional information. Btw on a side note, I had just started reading your blog late last year. I was on my phone and stupid phone settings didn't allow me to follow yet. Then before I could get to a decent computer, my bookmarks got deleted and I didn't know your blog name so I wasn't able to read your blog. So yeah i'm glad I found your blog now and I can read it. Lame story I know but I just had to say it.
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