Putting On A Show

I just "ate" dinner in front of K. I made a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli, and ate two and a quarter ravioli. One serving contains 240 calories, but I failed to count how many raviolis were in a can when I was heating them, so I don't know exactly how many raviolis are in one serving to figure out how many calories I ate. I am going to guess and say there were twelve raviolis in that can, which would make each one 40 cals each. So two and a quarter would be 90 cals. I will bump that to 100 cals just to make sure. I drank some Fiji water to go with it, but I just didn't want to eat or drink anything. I ate since K was sitting in the living room, and it was 6:30 and she hadn't seen me eat anything since my yogurt in the morning and a banana this afternoon. Which is all I've eaten all day anyway :)

So I made a show of cooking the raviolis, putting them in a non-see-through bowl so she couldn't see how many were in there, proclaiming they weren't hot enough, putting them back into the pot and cooking them longer, then taking two out again. I then made them last for 15 minutes, and K was studying, so she wasn't really paying attention as I was chasing the pieces around the bowl and taking teeny bites. Then I went into the kitchen to clean up my dishes, and put the rest of the ravioli down the garbage disposal. I need to go run that! I didn't want to run it while she was in the living room, for fear that she would think I was doing exactly what I was doing, dumping my dinner down the drain :)

I just wish I didn't even have to eat! I really had no desire to eat at all. I was hungry, but I was relishing that hunger, and then I had to give it up. At least it was only 100 cals, but still. I thought my roomies had basketball tonight at 7, so I could have gotten away with not eating since they would have left at 6:30. But they actually had it at 8, so that was why K was sitting around at dinner time. Tomorrow night I won't have to eat. K has work until 6, so it will be logical that I already ate.

I threw away the sashimi this afternoon, along with some leftover chili that was about three days old. I don't like leftovers much anyway, and I especially don't like leftovers that have been sitting in the fridge for a couple days. All I think about is bacterial growth. Yuck!

Speaking of the sashimi, thank you so much for your comment Emma! Paying not to eat! Genius! I felt so much better about spending that after you said that :) throughraindrops, you are so funny! "Give it to a hungry animal"! I would, but I don't think the clinic would appreciate me bringing raw fish in to feed the sick pups and kitties lol. Thank you also to Holly, got2bedancin247, and Bluegreen as well :) It's nice to see that we are all as perplexed by a minimum dollar amount at a restaurant. Ugh, an Ana's worst nightmare!

So I was watching America's Next Top Model while "eating dinner" and K was studying, and it was the season where Whitney, the plus size girl, wins. K says "It still kills me how Whitney is considered plus-sized." I just laughed and said "Yeah". K then says "I mean those other girls are anorexic to me." I just get so mad when normal/plus-sized people say this. Whitney is a size ten. I am sorry, to me, that IS plus size! Even in high school, when I was only semi-concerned about my weight, I was never above a size 2/4. And I never have been or will be above a size 2/4. It's just not in my structure to be. Look at my mom, and you can plainly see that. She is 54 years old, and wears size 4 or 6, depending on the brand. When she was my age, she was naturally around 116 lbs. and was 5'4". She was always slim, and it took her three kids to finally wear a C cup and a size 6 in pants. She doesn't diet, she just makes healthy choices with her eating. I don't know if that woman has ever binged a day in her life. So it is in my genes to be naturally thin.

Sometimes I just want to tell K that. Not everyone is meant to be a size 8 or 10 like you! Some people are thin, and they can't help it! Just because someone is a size 2 or 0 does not make them anorexic! I am naturally thin; obviously I want to be much thinner than my normal weight, but if I just ate like my mom does, I would be a size 2 and not anything bigger. I sometimes feel like she has such a problem with skinny girls because she will never be skinny herself. Not unless she seriously starts dieting and stops eating junk late at night. I think it comes down to jealousy. But I hate when she says things like that, because if you are naturally a small person, you can't help it!

Okay, ranting done. I just needed to get that off my chest. So good day today, food-wise. I had to sit through the most boring lecture today, about renal (kidney) toxicity. I almost died. Well, off to do some studying and reading blogs.

Love you, Skinnies!

~Sottile